# Controversial This or That Questions: Hard, Deep and Debate Pairs Source: https://thisorthatquestion.com/controversial-this-or-that-questions Updated: 2026-11-11 Pairs that split a room on purpose, from hard to deep to debate. None of them touch politics or religion. ## Quick facts - A hard this or that question has a real cost on both sides. If one option costs nothing, it is an easy question. - The best controversial this or that questions split a room close to evenly, so both sides have people to defend them. - Keep politics, religion and real people out. Those topics end the conversation instead of starting a debate. - Deep questions need time. Plan 2 to 3 minutes per pair when you ask people to explain their answer. - A this or that debate works with teams of 3 to 6 people per side and 60 seconds per speaker. ## Hard this or that questions These hard this or that questions force a trade between two things most people want. Nobody gets both. 1. More time or More money? 2. Be respected or Be liked? 3. Perfect memory or Perfect sense of direction? 4. Dream job, low pay or Boring job, high pay? 5. Never feel cold again or Never feel tired again? 6. Lose all your photos or Lose all your messages? 7. Always tell the truth or Never get caught in a lie? 8. Be famous for one year or Be wealthy and unknown? 9. Read every mind or Never be read? 10. Free travel for life or Free food for life? ### Hard this or that: hard edition This or that hard edition pairs are the hardest this or that questions on the page. Use these this or that hard questions for the last round, when the group is warmed up. 1. Know the future or Change the past? 2. Live to 120 in poor health or Live to 75 in great health? 3. Forget your best day or Relive your worst day? 4. Lose your sense of taste or Lose your sense of smell? 5. Your closest friend moves away or You move away from everyone? 6. Never use the internet again or Never travel more than 50 miles again? 7. Know every language or Play every instrument? 8. Start life over at 10 or Skip ahead to 50? ## Deep this or that questions These this or that deep questions ask about values, regret and what makes a good life. Ask them one at a time and give people room to think. 1. A few close friends or Many casual friends? 2. Be remembered or Be happy and forgotten? 3. Roots or Wings? 4. Hard truth or Kind lie? 5. Peace or Excitement? 6. Love a job or Love a city? 7. Big risk, big reward or Small risk, steady reward? 8. Freedom or Security? 9. Forgive or Forget? 10. Wisdom or Talent? ## Thought provoking this or that questions that make you think These thought provoking this or that questions have no practical answer. People usually change their mind once while explaining. 1. Live in a simulation and know it or Live in a simulation and never know? 2. Meet your future self or Meet your younger self? 3. Know how long you live or Know how you will spend your last year? 4. Talk to animals or Understand every human language? 5. Fix one mistake or Repeat one great day? 6. Live 100 years in the past or Live 100 years in the future? 7. Know everyone's opinion of you or Never know anyone's opinion of you? 8. Be the smartest in the room or Be the kindest in the room? ## This or that controversial questions about everyday life These controversial this or that pairs start arguments about habits and manners. They feel personal but stay safe for most groups. 1. Recline your seat or Never recline? 2. Shoes off in the house or Shoes on in the house? 3. Split the bill evenly or Pay for what you ordered? 4. Reply to texts right away or Reply when you feel like it? 5. Phones at the dinner table or No phones at the table? 6. Spoilers after a week or Spoilers never? 7. Plan a surprise party or Ask before throwing a party? 8. Read the last page first or Never peek? 9. Call before visiting or Drop by anytime? 10. Kids at weddings or Adults-only weddings? ## This or that personality questions Personality pairs reveal how someone thinks and works. They suit team-building, new friends and couples. 1. Planner or Go with the flow? 2. Head or Heart? 3. Leader or Right-hand person? 4. Listener or Talker? 5. Finish one task or Juggle five tasks? 6. Ask for directions or Figure it out alone? 7. Big picture or Small details? 8. Recharge alone or Recharge with people? 9. Say what you think or Think before you say it? 10. Routine or Surprise? ## Dark this or that questions Dark this or that questions touch death, fear and bad luck without being graphic. Use them with adults and older teens who know each other. 1. Live in a haunted house rent-free or Pay full rent somewhere normal? 2. Outlive all your friends or Go first? 3. Be forgotten after you die or Be remembered for one mistake? 4. Know the day you die or Know the cause? 5. Spend a night alone in a cemetery or Spend a night alone in a cave? 6. Hear the thoughts of a ghost or See ghosts but never hear them? 7. Lose every memory or Lose every photo and record of you? 8. Read your own obituary or Hear your own eulogy? ## Tricky this or that questions Tricky this or that questions look easy until someone points out the catch. Ask a second person to argue the other side. 1. Win an argument or Keep the friendship? 2. A $1 million gift today or A penny that doubles daily for a month? 3. Be first or Be best? 4. Unlimited books, no time to read or Unlimited time, one book? 5. Know all the answers or Ask all the right questions? 6. Always be early or Never be rushed? 7. Be the boss or Be the expert? 8. Learn from a mistake or Avoid the mistake? ## This or that debate topics These this or that debate questions suit classrooms, clubs and teams. Each side has solid arguments, so students can research either one. 1. Four-day school week or Shorter summer break? 2. School uniforms or Free dress? 3. Cash or Card only? 4. Space exploration or Ocean exploration? 5. Paper textbooks or Tablets? 6. Self-driving cars or Human drivers? 7. Grades or Pass or fail? 8. Smartphones at 12 or Smartphones at 16? 9. Group projects or Solo projects? 10. Year-round school or Long summer break? ## How to run a this or that debate 1. Pick one pair from the debate topics list and read it aloud. 2. Have everyone stand on the side of the room that matches their pick. 3. Give each side 3 minutes to agree on their two best reasons. 4. Let each side speak for 60 seconds. No interruptions. 5. Allow one 30-second rebuttal per side. 6. Ask anyone who changed their mind to walk to the other side. The side that gains people wins. ## Tips for hard and deep questions - Set a rule before you start: people may pass on any question. Deep questions land better when nobody feels trapped. - Ask "Why?" after every pair. The reason matters more than the pick. - Keep the this or that questions adults hard to answer, about death, money and regret, out of teen rounds. Those topics need some life experience. - Pause after a dark question. Follow it with a lighter pair before the next heavy one. - Use difficult this or that questions late in an evening, after the group has warmed up with easy pairs. - Skip politics, religion and real public figures. Those topics divide the group instead of starting a fair debate. ## Frequently asked questions ### What are controversial this or that questions? Controversial this or that questions are two-option dilemmas that split a group and make people defend their pick. One example is "Know the future or Change the past?" They stay on personal values and everyday habits, not politics or religion. Use them for debate class, deep talks with friends or a hard round of the this or that game. ### What are good controversial this or that questions? Good controversial this or that questions split a group about evenly. Try Recline your seat or Never recline, and Split the bill evenly or Pay for what you ordered. They feel personal without touching politics or religion. ### What are some this or that questions for adults hard enough to make you think? Try Know the future or Change the past, Live to 120 in poor health or Live to 75 in great health, and Be remembered or Be happy and forgotten. Hard this or that questions adults answer well need time, so ask them after dinner. ### What are this or that questions adults deep enough for a real conversation? Deep pairs for adults include Hard truth or Kind lie, Freedom or Security, and A few close friends or Many casual friends. Ask one, then let each person talk for a minute. Three or four this or that questions deep like these fill a whole evening. ### What are tough this or that questions with no right answer? Tough this or that questions put two good things against each other. Examples: More time or More money, Be respected or Be liked, and Roots or Wings. Both sides cost something, which is why people argue about them. ### Where can I find interesting this or that questions for a group of friends? Start with the thought provoking and tricky sections on this page. Pairs like Win an argument or Keep the friendship and Be first or Be best get friends talking about how each of them thinks. Ask one person to argue the side nobody picked. ### How do I keep this or that questions controversial but friendly? Keep this or that questions controversial about habits and manners, not identity or beliefs. Shoes off in the house or Shoes on starts a lively argument. A question about politics or religion starts a fight. Let people pass, and laugh at the losing side, not the person. ### What are this or that difficult questions for a work team? This or that difficult questions for work should test priorities, not private lives. Try Be the boss or Be the expert, Finish one task or Juggle five tasks, and Big picture or Small details. Skip the dark and deep sections at work. ### What are impossible this or that questions? Impossible this or that questions offer two options that sound equally bad or equally good. Examples: Forget your best day or Relive your worst day, and Lose your sense of taste or Lose your sense of smell. Use them as a final round. ### How do you make this or that debates fair? Make this or that debates fair by giving each side the same time: 60 seconds to speak and 30 seconds to rebut. Pick topics with strong arguments on both sides. Let people switch sides at the end, and count the movers to decide the winner. ### Are these this or that questions interesting for teens? Yes, most are. Teens like the thought provoking, tricky and debate pairs, such as Meet your future self or Meet your younger self. Skip the dark section and the money pairs for younger teens. Keep this or that interesting questions about school for class debates. ### What makes a this or that debate topic different from a regular question? A this or that debate topic needs reasons on both sides that people can research or explain, such as School uniforms or Free dress. A regular question, like Sunrise or Sunset, only needs a preference. ### Are dark this or that questions appropriate for a party? Yes, for adults who know each other well. Keep them mild, such as Haunted house rent-free or Full rent somewhere normal. Avoid questions about real deaths, illness or tragedies, and let anyone pass on a question.