Controversial This or That Questions: Hard, Deep and Debate Pairs

Pairs that split a room on purpose, from hard to deep to debate.

Random this or that picker

Hard and deep
More timeorMore money
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None of them touch politics or religion.

Jump to a section (11)
  1. Hard this or that questions
  2. Deep this or that questions
  3. Thought provoking this or that questions that make you think
  4. This or that controversial questions about everyday life
  5. This or that personality questions
  6. Dark this or that questions
  7. Tricky this or that questions
  8. This or that debate topics
  9. How to run a this or that debate
  10. Tips for hard and deep questions
  11. Frequently asked questions

Hard this or that questions

These hard this or that questions force a trade between two things most people want. Nobody gets both.

  1. More timeorMore money?
  2. Be respectedorBe liked?
  3. Perfect memoryorPerfect sense of direction?
  4. Dream job, low payorBoring job, high pay?
  5. Never feel cold againorNever feel tired again?
  6. Lose all your photosorLose all your messages?
  7. Always tell the truthorNever get caught in a lie?
  8. Be famous for one yearorBe wealthy and unknown?
  9. Read every mindorNever be read?
  10. Free travel for lifeorFree food for life?

Hard this or that: hard edition

This or that hard edition pairs are the hardest this or that questions on the page. Use these this or that hard questions for the last round, when the group is warmed up.

  1. Know the futureorChange the past?
  2. Live to 120 in poor healthorLive to 75 in great health?
  3. Forget your best dayorRelive your worst day?
  4. Lose your sense of tasteorLose your sense of smell?
  5. Your closest friend moves awayorYou move away from everyone?
  6. Never use the internet againorNever travel more than 50 miles again?
  7. Know every languageorPlay every instrument?
  8. Start life over at 10orSkip ahead to 50?
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Deep this or that questions

These this or that deep questions ask about values, regret and what makes a good life. Ask them one at a time and give people room to think.

  1. A few close friendsorMany casual friends?
  2. Be rememberedorBe happy and forgotten?
  3. RootsorWings?
  4. Hard truthorKind lie?
  5. PeaceorExcitement?
  6. Love a joborLove a city?
  7. Big risk, big rewardorSmall risk, steady reward?
  8. FreedomorSecurity?
  9. ForgiveorForget?
  10. WisdomorTalent?

Thought provoking this or that questions that make you think

These thought provoking this or that questions have no practical answer. People usually change their mind once while explaining.

  1. Live in a simulation and know itorLive in a simulation and never know?
  2. Meet your future selforMeet your younger self?
  3. Know how long you liveorKnow how you will spend your last year?
  4. Talk to animalsorUnderstand every human language?
  5. Fix one mistakeorRepeat one great day?
  6. Live 100 years in the pastorLive 100 years in the future?
  7. Know everyone's opinion of youorNever know anyone's opinion of you?
  8. Be the smartest in the roomorBe the kindest in the room?

This or that controversial questions about everyday life

These controversial this or that pairs start arguments about habits and manners. They feel personal but stay safe for most groups.

  1. Recline your seatorNever recline?
  2. Shoes off in the houseorShoes on in the house?
  3. Split the bill evenlyorPay for what you ordered?
  4. Reply to texts right awayorReply when you feel like it?
  5. Phones at the dinner tableorNo phones at the table?
  6. Spoilers after a weekorSpoilers never?
  7. Plan a surprise partyorAsk before throwing a party?
  8. Read the last page firstorNever peek?
  9. Call before visitingorDrop by anytime?
  10. Kids at weddingsorAdults-only weddings?

This or that personality questions

Personality pairs reveal how someone thinks and works. They suit team-building, new friends and couples.

  1. PlannerorGo with the flow?
  2. HeadorHeart?
  3. LeaderorRight-hand person?
  4. ListenerorTalker?
  5. Finish one taskorJuggle five tasks?
  6. Ask for directionsorFigure it out alone?
  7. Big pictureorSmall details?
  8. Recharge aloneorRecharge with people?
  9. Say what you thinkorThink before you say it?
  10. RoutineorSurprise?

Dark this or that questions

Dark this or that questions touch death, fear and bad luck without being graphic. Use them with adults and older teens who know each other.

  1. Live in a haunted house rent-freeorPay full rent somewhere normal?
  2. Outlive all your friendsorGo first?
  3. Be forgotten after you dieorBe remembered for one mistake?
  4. Know the day you dieorKnow the cause?
  5. Spend a night alone in a cemeteryorSpend a night alone in a cave?
  6. Hear the thoughts of a ghostorSee ghosts but never hear them?
  7. Lose every memoryorLose every photo and record of you?
  8. Read your own obituaryorHear your own eulogy?

Tricky this or that questions

Tricky this or that questions look easy until someone points out the catch. Ask a second person to argue the other side.

  1. Win an argumentorKeep the friendship?
  2. A $1 million gift todayorA penny that doubles daily for a month?
  3. Be firstorBe best?
  4. Unlimited books, no time to readorUnlimited time, one book?
  5. Know all the answersorAsk all the right questions?
  6. Always be earlyorNever be rushed?
  7. Be the bossorBe the expert?
  8. Learn from a mistakeorAvoid the mistake?

This or that debate topics

These this or that debate questions suit classrooms, clubs and teams. Each side has solid arguments, so students can research either one.

  1. Four-day school weekorShorter summer break?
  2. School uniformsorFree dress?
  3. CashorCard only?
  4. Space explorationorOcean exploration?
  5. Paper textbooksorTablets?
  6. Self-driving carsorHuman drivers?
  7. GradesorPass or fail?
  8. Smartphones at 12orSmartphones at 16?
  9. Group projectsorSolo projects?
  10. Year-round schoolorLong summer break?

How to run a this or that debate

  1. Pick one pair from the debate topics list and read it aloud.
  2. Have everyone stand on the side of the room that matches their pick.
  3. Give each side 3 minutes to agree on their two best reasons.
  4. Let each side speak for 60 seconds. No interruptions.
  5. Allow one 30-second rebuttal per side.
  6. Ask anyone who changed their mind to walk to the other side. The side that gains people wins.

Tips for hard and deep questions

  • Set a rule before you start: people may pass on any question. Deep questions land better when nobody feels trapped.
  • Ask "Why?" after every pair. The reason matters more than the pick.
  • Keep the this or that questions adults hard to answer, about death, money and regret, out of teen rounds. Those topics need some life experience.
  • Pause after a dark question. Follow it with a lighter pair before the next heavy one.
  • Use difficult this or that questions late in an evening, after the group has warmed up with easy pairs.
  • Skip politics, religion and real public figures. Those topics divide the group instead of starting a fair debate.

Frequently asked questions

What are controversial this or that questions?

Controversial this or that questions are two-option dilemmas that split a group and make people defend their pick. One example is "Know the future or Change the past?" They stay on personal values and everyday habits, not politics or religion. Use them for debate class, deep talks with friends or a hard round of the this or that game.

Good controversial this or that questions split a group about evenly. Try Recline your seat or Never recline, and Split the bill evenly or Pay for what you ordered. They feel personal without touching politics or religion.

Try Know the future or Change the past, Live to 120 in poor health or Live to 75 in great health, and Be remembered or Be happy and forgotten. Hard this or that questions adults answer well need time, so ask them after dinner.

Deep pairs for adults include Hard truth or Kind lie, Freedom or Security, and A few close friends or Many casual friends. Ask one, then let each person talk for a minute. Three or four this or that questions deep like these fill a whole evening.

Tough this or that questions put two good things against each other. Examples: More time or More money, Be respected or Be liked, and Roots or Wings. Both sides cost something, which is why people argue about them.

Start with the thought provoking and tricky sections on this page. Pairs like Win an argument or Keep the friendship and Be first or Be best get friends talking about how each of them thinks. Ask one person to argue the side nobody picked.

Keep this or that questions controversial about habits and manners, not identity or beliefs. Shoes off in the house or Shoes on starts a lively argument. A question about politics or religion starts a fight. Let people pass, and laugh at the losing side, not the person.

This or that difficult questions for work should test priorities, not private lives. Try Be the boss or Be the expert, Finish one task or Juggle five tasks, and Big picture or Small details. Skip the dark and deep sections at work.

Impossible this or that questions offer two options that sound equally bad or equally good. Examples: Forget your best day or Relive your worst day, and Lose your sense of taste or Lose your sense of smell. Use them as a final round.

Make this or that debates fair by giving each side the same time: 60 seconds to speak and 30 seconds to rebut. Pick topics with strong arguments on both sides. Let people switch sides at the end, and count the movers to decide the winner.

Yes, most are. Teens like the thought provoking, tricky and debate pairs, such as Meet your future self or Meet your younger self. Skip the dark section and the money pairs for younger teens. Keep this or that interesting questions about school for class debates.

A this or that debate topic needs reasons on both sides that people can research or explain, such as School uniforms or Free dress. A regular question, like Sunrise or Sunset, only needs a preference.

Yes, for adults who know each other well. Keep them mild, such as Haunted house rent-free or Full rent somewhere normal. Avoid questions about real deaths, illness or tragedies, and let anyone pass on a question.

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