Funny This or That Questions: 90 Weird, Silly and Unhinged Pairs

Weird this or that questions

These weird this or that questions ask players to pick between two strange bodies, habits or living situations. Read them slowly. The pause before someone answers is half the fun.

1. Sneeze glitterorCry maple syrup?
2. Fingers as long as your legsorLegs as long as your fingers?
3. A cat the size of a horseorA horse the size of a cat?
4. Theme music when you enter a roomorA laugh track after every joke?
5. Talk like a pirate foreverorNarrate your life in third person?
6. Duck feetorGiraffe neck?
7. Hiccup every time you lieorSneeze every time you're wrong?
8. Live in a giant shoeorLive in a giant teapot?
9. Speak only in questionsorSpeak only in movie quotes?
10. Every door is a pull doororEvery chair squeaks?
11. Knees that click loudlyorA stomach that growls on cue?
12. Sweat ranch dressingorSweat hot sauce?
13. A nose that honksorShoes that squeak?
14. Hair that grows an inch an hourorNo hair ever again?

Crazy this or that questions with animals

Animals make crazy this or that questions easy to picture. Geese, raccoons and llamas show up a lot because everyone already has an opinion about them.

15. Fight a gooseorWrestle a raccoon?
16. Get chased by a swanorGet chased by five chihuahuas?
17. Ride an ostrich to workorRide a llama to work?
18. A pigeon that follows youorA seagull that steals your lunch?
19. A pet that talksorA pet that does your laundry?
20. Get spit on by a llamaorGet pooped on by a bird?
21. Swim with a jellyfishorHug a porcupine?
22. A squirrel as a roommateorA parrot as a roommate?
23. Bark when happyorHiss when annoyed?
24. A tiny elephantorA giant hamster?

Silly this or that questions about useless superpowers

Silly this or that questions work well with mixed ages because nothing is gross or rude. Each power here comes with a catch.

25. Fly two inches off the groundorTeleport three feet?
26. Talk to houseplantsorRead the minds of pigeons?
27. Stop time for one secondorRewind time by five seconds?
28. Turn invisible only when nobody looksorTurn into a chair on command?
29. Change TV channels by blinkingorUnlock your phone by sneezing?
30. Glow in the darkorSmell like cinnamon forever?
31. Breathe underwater, but only in poolsorRun fast, but only backward?
32. Super strength in your pinkyorSuper speed while crawling?
33. Find every lost sockorFind every lost TV remote?
34. Always know the timeorAlways know where north is?

Funny this or that food questions

35. Eat cereal with a forkorEat soup with chopsticks?
36. Pizza with no cheeseorBurger with no bun?
37. Gas station sushiorAirport salad?
38. Raisin cookie that looks like chocolate chiporDecaf you thought was regular?
39. Breakfast for dinner foreverorDinner for breakfast forever?
40. Only eat food that is blueorOnly eat food that is beige?
41. Drink pickle juiceorDrink olive brine?
42. A spoon for every mealorA fork for every meal?
43. A sandwich that is always soggyorChips that are always stale?
44. Mayo on ice creamorKetchup on cake?
45. Your grandma's mystery casseroleorA coworker's mystery potluck dish?
46. Lukewarm coffee foreverorFlat soda forever?

Funny this or that questions for adults

These pairs pull from work, dating, family and social awkwardness. They stay clean, so you can use them at a work party or a family dinner.

47. Reply-all by mistakeorCamera on by mistake?
48. Your search history read aloudorYour texts shown on a billboard?
49. Your mom writes your dating profileorYour ex writes your wedding toast?
50. Sneeze in a silent elevatororTrip in a crowded restaurant?
51. Wave back at someone who wasn't wavingorSay "you too" when the server says enjoy?
52. Build flat-pack furniture with your exorDo your taxes with your in-laws?
53. Neighbors hear you singorCoworkers see you dance?
54. Wear swim goggles to workorWear a tuxedo to the gym?
55. Find $20 in old jeansorHave dreaded plans cancelled?
56. Call your boss "Mom"orCall your date by your ex's name?
57. Accidentally like a 2014 photoorAccidentally send a voice memo?
58. Forget a name mid-introductionorForget why you walked into a room?
59. Be stuck in small talk for an hourorBe stuck in an elevator for 20 minutes?

This or that questions funny for friends

Friends know each other's habits, so these pairs lead to teasing. Ask the group to guess each person's answer before they say it.

60. Friend who is always 30 minutes lateorFriend who shows up 30 minutes early?
61. Plan the triporPay for the trip?
62. Be the group photographerorBe the group driver?
63. Your baby photos at the partyorYour middle school diary read aloud?
64. Matching tattoosorMatching haircuts?
65. Lose a bet and shave one eyebroworLose a bet and dye your hair green?
66. Share a bed with a kickerorShare a room with a snorer?
67. Friend who spoils every movieorFriend who talks through every movie?
68. Group chat on muteorGroup chat with 400 unread?
69. Sing karaoke soberorDance at a wedding alone?

Hard this or that questions funny enough to argue about

These are small daily annoyances turned into a choice. They are hard because both options are bad in a way everyone recognizes.

70. Always have sand in your shoesorAlways have one wet sock?
71. Phone stuck at 1%orWi-Fi stuck at one bar?
72. Always slightly too hotorAlways slightly too cold?
73. One eyebroworNo eyebrows?
74. Hiccups for a yearorFeel a sneeze coming for a year?
75. Step on a LegoorGet a paper cut on your tongue?
76. Sing everything you sayorRhyme everything you say?
77. Every song you hear is a kids' songorEvery show you watch has spoilers?
78. Always one minute lateorAlways 40 minutes early?
79. Your shoelace always untiedorYour zipper always halfway down?

Controversial this or that questions funny people fight about

These debates have no real stakes, which is why people argue about them so hard. Expect at least one person to leave the table to make a point.

80. A hot dog is a sandwichorA hot dog is not a sandwich?
81. Cereal is souporCereal is not soup?
82. Water is wetorWater is not wet?
83. GIF with a hard GorGIF with a soft G?
84. Socks in bedorBare feet in bed?
85. Hand dryerorPaper towels?
86. Fold pizzaorEat it flat?
87. Clap when the plane landsorStay silent?

Cute this or that questions

Cute this or that questions keep the mood light with younger kids or a shy group. They get smiles more than big laughs.

88. A puppy that never grows uporA kitten that always purrs?
89. Cuddle a baby goatorCuddle a baby sloth?
90. A hamster in a tiny hatorA duck in rain boots?
91. Sleep in a blanket fortorSleep in a treehouse?
92. A onesie every dayorPajama pants every day?
93. A penguin best friendorAn otter best friend?

How to run a round of funny this or that questions

1. Pick 15 to 20 pairs that fit the group. Use the cute or silly pairs for kids and the adult pairs for coworkers or friends.
2. Read each pair aloud as "A or B?" and give players three seconds to answer.
3. Have everyone point left for the first option and right for the second, so nobody can copy a neighbor.
4. Ask one person on the smaller side to defend their pick in one sentence.
5. Let the winner of the best defense read the next pair.
6. Finish with your strangest pair. Weird questions at the end get people talking after the game.

Tips for writing your own funny this or that questions

• Make both sides bad in a different way. "Sweat ranch or Sweat hot sauce" works because one is gross and the other hurts.
• Use real, specific details: a goose, a 2014 photo, a soggy sandwich. Vague options get shrugs.
• Keep unhinged questions harmless. Absurd is funny; cruel, gross-out or sexual content splits the room.
• Read the room before using the adult pairs. Coworkers laugh at reply-all jokes, not at dating jokes about a teammate.
• Mix in a cute pair after every few hard ones to reset the mood.
• Write creative this or that questions by changing one detail of a classic pair. "Pizza or Burgers" becomes "Pizza with no cheese or Burger with no bun".